Today, I think of me
"The end," she typed and proceeded to turn off the laptop. She looked at the time, one thirty in the morning. She did not notice it but she had written her heart out for more than nine hours. As the soft, orange glow of the hotel light slightly flickered, she looked at the big, fluffy white bed that was waiting for her - she climbed on it, but instead of falling asleep, she grabbed a Dan Brown classic, reading through the Davinci book again. She fell asleep before the clock turned six, and she slept until four in the afternoon.
Twenty-five missed calls - twenty-two from her publisher, two from her fiance, and one from her mom. She called back her publisher, Harry to let him know that the book is almost done and that all she needed to write was her dedication and foreword. She called Lucas, her fiance to tell him she will be there for dinner tonight, after all, the restaurant was pretty hard to get reservations since its the best in the city. She texted her mom that she is okay and to tell her the book was done.
" Aaaah, it's a beautiful life, " she said.
She recently turned thirty, her second book to be published this year, getting married in June next year, her mom finally recovered and her family is pretty much set for life. This year alone she traveled to three Harry Potter studios: Japan, Orlando, and London.
Tonight she eats the steak with Lucas, who is a famous photographer and owns a small marketing company that is starting to make it big online. He loves to read her poems and write her two-page love letters, takes her picture randomly, and often tells her he loves her just because. He loved to sing to her, even when he can't carry a tune, or spend time in silence as both of them read, immersed in their books.
As she goes home, she locks the doors, turns the light off, and thinks back on her life. She has everything she ever wanted, but why does her life feel so empty, so silent? What is she missing?
I sighed, took a breath, and smiled.
That was the life I wanted when I was in high school, even in college. I wanted to be a published writer, specifically writing love stories with a bit of fiction/mystery. I wanted to be married to someone who was into literature or loved art. I hoped for my family to be settled financially. I wished to be loved and wanted for who I was, and who I will become. I wanted to travel and go to all Harry Potter anything - parks, studios, shooting locations.
I think why those things do not matter as much to me anymore is because where I am now is where I am supposed to be. I am at home, enjoying the company of my four beautiful children, getting annoyed with my husband for absolutely nothing, working nights as a cold caller/ appointment setter/agency owner, and basking in the love of my God, knowing the pains and sacrifices of my Jesus.
Today, as we were driving home, "Goodness of God" played right into the stereo and just like that, instantaneous worship - my sister and I were raising our hands in praise, eyes closed, tears running through our eyes. Then, "Above All" played, and the lyrics where he said "Crucified/ Laid behind the stone/ You lived to die/ Rejected and alone", my heart was crushed and I felt a sudden hurt for what Jesus had to do so I can be freed from the pathetic, materialistic sins that I have made. This is my life now, and I am loving every part of it.
It is not the life I had planned for me - but I guess, if you think about it, I got the better bargain. I got the better me. Through the grace of the Lord, I have found contentment in the simple things, that no amount of glamour or material things can replace what is most important: a life that is centered in the Lord. When I end the day, I only feel at peace and truly loved.
This is to everyone who seems to be at a certain point in their life where they have everything but feels like they are missing something. It's Jesus, let Him in, let Him live in your heart.
If you wish to hear about the grace of the Lord, please follow @Theway.ph (Facebook) or watch our services online on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_K8-bMDClKkA9DgrundE1A/. Live long and prosper!